


The Moon is Gonna Rise

by Meraad



Series: Heroes and Monsters [1]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, throwing (verbal) stones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-18
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24796225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meraad/pseuds/Meraad
Summary: Inquisitor Nerida Cadash arrived in Val Royeux too late to save Blackwall.Her mourning is interrupted by an argument with Cullen.
Relationships: Blackwall/Female Cadash
Series: Heroes and Monsters [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793485
Kudos: 9





	The Moon is Gonna Rise

**Author's Note:**

> A one shot? Multiple chapters? Who knows! Your guess is as good as mine at this point!

_You come into the world alone  
And you go out of the world alone  
But in between, there's you and me _

The rain that had been falling in torrents finally let up into a light mist, but Nerida was already soaked to the skin.

_Too late._

She closed her eyes and heard the wood of the gallows creak.

* * *

Nerida hurried into the city center, feeling a desperation she’d never known. 

The words from Blackwall’s note echoed in her mind. 

_There is little I can say that will ease this pain. Just know that while it hurt to leave, it would have hurt more if I stayed._

_I am deeply sorry._

People milled about, gossiping and nattering on, but she paid them no mind, eyes searching.

The gallows. Blackwall had come for someone he knew. 

_**Rainier.** _

_**Murderer.** _

_**Coward.** _

Words from the crowd slipped through.

She spotted the wooden stairs that lead to the gallows.

Nerida quickened her pace and her gaze caught on a pair of worn leather boots that swung slightly in the breeze.

Up her gaze went, over breeches splattered with dirt from a long hard journey.

A heavy quilted gambeson, in the familiar dark blue of the Wardens.

Her mind rebelled.

_No. No. No._

She had worn that gambeson.

He had tugged it around her shoulders as she lay naked against him, to prolong the moment and ward off the cold that would pull them apart.

A rope bound tight around his throat.

And a face, no longer ruddy in complexion, but pale and waxen. No warm smile. Light gray eyes that stared unseeing.

_No._

_No. No._

It became her mantra.

_No._

_Not him._

_Not like this._

* * *

Opening her eyes, she stared hard at the gallows. They had left him and the other man up there for hours. To make a proper spectacle of the criminals.

They had left him up there until she started screaming and her companions leaped into action.

Nerida had been dazed, but she overheard the stories. The tales of his crimes.

Her companions, people she had considered friends, believed the punishment was just. None of his good deeds could overbalance the crimes.

 _“We’re not so different, you and I,”_ he told her once and she had scoffed.

Nerida Cadash was in the Carta. She had been a criminal before the age of four.

 _“I told you,”_ she could almost imagine him saying.

“No,” her voice was a rasp. “You did what you could to do better, to atone for your sins.” Nerida shook her head, short dark hair clinging to her cheeks. “I haven’t. I won’t.” Because as soon as the matter with Corypheus was over, she would return to that life.

 _“You never murdered children,”_ she heard him say.

“And neither did you. Not really. But I have… I have killed innocents.” And those souls haunted her. Shadows she’d catch in the corner of her vision. The nightmare demons in the fade had been those whose deaths she’d caused. And since gaining the mark on her hand, they visited in her sleep.

But she had never - not once - considered repenting. 

Something warm fell over her shoulders and Nerida flinched. Jerking her head around she stared in confusion as Cullen sunk down beside her on the short wall that faced the gallows. “You’ll catch your death out here,” he said, and she saw the regret as his own words registered. “I am sorry,” he said, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. 

“You’ve been sitting here for hours,” he amended. “It’s freezing.” 

He disapproved. She could see it written clearly on his face and she looked away. Down at the Warden-Commander badge she held in her hand. Nerida was actually surprised that the Commander had been the one to come find her. 

Though, she supposed it made sense. The Commander didn’t particularly care for her and in the wake of the revelation about who Blackwall truly was, well, she’d heard his thoughts on the matter already.

Nerida waited, expecting him to start chastising her, berating her for her failures.

_He was a liar._

_A disgrace to the Inquisition, to the Wardens even._

Leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, he clasped his hands together, almost as if in prayer. “What can we do to help you?” he finally asked after several long minutes.

The question startled her and she remained silent. She saw him turn his face to look at her from the corner of her eye and there was pity there. “I understand how difficult this must be for you,”

Something inside of Nerida’s soul snapped at those words. “Do you?” she rasped and pushed up to her feet, and wished she were taller, so she could tower over him, look down at him for his judgment. His cloak fell into the puddle of water at her feet. “Do you have any idea what it is like-” she broke off, the tears stinging harshly against the backs of her eyes. “You think he deserved it. That he got off lucky in his punishment. A quick and easy death.”

Cullen’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed. “Inquisitor,” he began, but then he fell silent. What could he possibly say?

“He was a Grey Warden,” she clutched the badge in her hand.

“He never completed the joining.” 

“And if he had, his crimes would have been forgotten!” Nerida shouted. “So many of the Grey Wardens are criminals! Blackwall-” she broke off. “Thom Rainier lived his life as a Warden. He dedicated his life to helping people.” 

“He was responsible for the death of children,” Cullen’s voice was quiet and calm, a stark contrast to her own angry shouts. “And he ran and left his men to take the fall.” 

Nerida stared at Cullen. A Templar. Self-righteous bastards, all of them. “Are your hands clean, Commander?” she asked. “How many mages died under your watch? How many were turned Tranquil?”

She saw a muscle in his jaw twitch. “That is completely different.”

“Is it? Because the Chantry decided magic was a crime? Do you ever spare them a second thought? Do you remember their names? Or did you forget about them as soon as the moment passed?” Glancing down at the Warden’s badge in her hand again she shook her head. “You seem to forget that I’m a criminal too, and I’ve… I have done far worse than Thom Rainier. But you made me Inquisitor.” She flexed her left hand, sent her will into the mark to make it flare brighter. “Because of this. Just because of this stupid mark. Otherwise, I imagine you’d believe I should have been hanging up there,” she gestured behind her to the gallows, “right beside him.” 

Turning away, she left the Commander behind and returned to her quarters where she changed into dry clothes and collapsed on the bed. Heart aching and defeated, she let the tears she’d held back since arriving in Val Royeux finally fall.

She was alone. Except for her demons.


End file.
